JJRAKMAN
03-23-2008, 08:37 AM
I never tell about my successes, only about my failures. Failure stories are always funnier anyway. And I know how much some of you Fleets folks got a kick out of my dog story from a few years back, so I thought I'd relate another story that might give you all a chuckle.
So, a couple of weekends ago, I attended a Birthday party for a friend of mine at a local watering hole called, Maverick's.
I don't particularly care for the place, it's generally filled with gangster wannabe's, and the place makes you take your coat off if your coat falls beneath your waste. Don't ask me what they do if you wear a trenchcoat, I wonder too.
At any rate, I decided to go here to celebrate my friend's birthday because that's where she wanted to celebrate it. So I went despite my general dislike for the bar, because it was her birthday.
She had invited alot of her friends along, some of whom were lesbians. Some of those lesbians, were "promised" to each other, for lack of a better word.
One of my friend's lesbian couple, were a tall brunette and a short blonde, who I had met a year before at a local lesbian bar. They were together, and by all accounts, could not be torn apart.
Now, there were two bars inside this place, a front bar, and a back bar.
Most of us were by the back bar, watching all the girls dance.
I however, would go up to the front bar to order a drink, because it was cooler, and easier to breathe up there because of the cooler temperature and lower humidity.
Towards the end of the night, while I was awaiting my precious pint of brandy & Coke, I saw the short blonde lesbian waiting in line for the women's bathroom. I thought nothing of it.
Then, the short blonde motioned me to come over to her, like she had something to say, so I did.
After I secured my drink, I went over to her to see what she had to say to me.
She said, "I love you."
At the time, I thought it to be an innocent statement. Kind of like when someone mentions somebody like Ozzy Osbourne and the other person says, "oh yeah, I love that guy!" So I thought it was an innocent love you kind of statement.
So in response I said, "Thanks man!" and slapped her on the shoulder.
She was a very pretty short girl, and she said, "I love you, bend down so I can kiss you." I was probably close to two feet taller than her.
So I bent down and turned my head, and pointed at my cheek in an area of my face where I thought would be appropriate for her to plant an innocent friendly kiss.
It was at this time, that she grabbed my jaw by her hand, moved my face forward, and threw her tongue down my throat.
Of course, as cute as she was, I made out with her for a while. It was pleasant, and fun. I wish in retrospect it could have gone on.
But then in the middle of it, like an idiot, God damn my memory, I remembered that her girlfriend was still in the back bar. So I backed off a bit, sqeezed her shoulder in a friendly fashion, smiled at her, and walked away. That was extremely difficult to do, and today, I'm still not quite sure why I did it.
At any rate, I returned to the back bar with the rest of my friends. And shortly thereafter I locked eyes with her girlfriend, the tall brunette. I smiled at her with kind of a, "hi hello" smile. But all I got in return was a look that that appeared as though daggers were shooting out of her eyes at what might have been my soul.
It was at that point that I decided to leave the bar. I knew that at bar-time everyone would be hanging out, outside the bar, and talking and what not trying to extend the party as long as possible. And I knew that if I was there for that, something might come up, and I just didn't want to be in the middle that drama.
It struck me that this might be kind of a maturing for me. 10 years ago, I would have stayed for all that adventure. But now, I just wanted to go home to sleep.
Anyway, hoped you all enjoyed this.
So, a couple of weekends ago, I attended a Birthday party for a friend of mine at a local watering hole called, Maverick's.
I don't particularly care for the place, it's generally filled with gangster wannabe's, and the place makes you take your coat off if your coat falls beneath your waste. Don't ask me what they do if you wear a trenchcoat, I wonder too.
At any rate, I decided to go here to celebrate my friend's birthday because that's where she wanted to celebrate it. So I went despite my general dislike for the bar, because it was her birthday.
She had invited alot of her friends along, some of whom were lesbians. Some of those lesbians, were "promised" to each other, for lack of a better word.
One of my friend's lesbian couple, were a tall brunette and a short blonde, who I had met a year before at a local lesbian bar. They were together, and by all accounts, could not be torn apart.
Now, there were two bars inside this place, a front bar, and a back bar.
Most of us were by the back bar, watching all the girls dance.
I however, would go up to the front bar to order a drink, because it was cooler, and easier to breathe up there because of the cooler temperature and lower humidity.
Towards the end of the night, while I was awaiting my precious pint of brandy & Coke, I saw the short blonde lesbian waiting in line for the women's bathroom. I thought nothing of it.
Then, the short blonde motioned me to come over to her, like she had something to say, so I did.
After I secured my drink, I went over to her to see what she had to say to me.
She said, "I love you."
At the time, I thought it to be an innocent statement. Kind of like when someone mentions somebody like Ozzy Osbourne and the other person says, "oh yeah, I love that guy!" So I thought it was an innocent love you kind of statement.
So in response I said, "Thanks man!" and slapped her on the shoulder.
She was a very pretty short girl, and she said, "I love you, bend down so I can kiss you." I was probably close to two feet taller than her.
So I bent down and turned my head, and pointed at my cheek in an area of my face where I thought would be appropriate for her to plant an innocent friendly kiss.
It was at this time, that she grabbed my jaw by her hand, moved my face forward, and threw her tongue down my throat.
Of course, as cute as she was, I made out with her for a while. It was pleasant, and fun. I wish in retrospect it could have gone on.
But then in the middle of it, like an idiot, God damn my memory, I remembered that her girlfriend was still in the back bar. So I backed off a bit, sqeezed her shoulder in a friendly fashion, smiled at her, and walked away. That was extremely difficult to do, and today, I'm still not quite sure why I did it.
At any rate, I returned to the back bar with the rest of my friends. And shortly thereafter I locked eyes with her girlfriend, the tall brunette. I smiled at her with kind of a, "hi hello" smile. But all I got in return was a look that that appeared as though daggers were shooting out of her eyes at what might have been my soul.
It was at that point that I decided to leave the bar. I knew that at bar-time everyone would be hanging out, outside the bar, and talking and what not trying to extend the party as long as possible. And I knew that if I was there for that, something might come up, and I just didn't want to be in the middle that drama.
It struck me that this might be kind of a maturing for me. 10 years ago, I would have stayed for all that adventure. But now, I just wanted to go home to sleep.
Anyway, hoped you all enjoyed this.